Misery's Fortune
by Michelle1294
Summary: Imagine being sucked into a toilet bowl. Yeah, we couldn't either, until it happened to us. This is how my sister and I ended running for our lives from sadistic orcs, to befriending full grown men half our size, and meeting beautiful elves, who look like they belong in shampoo adds; all while trying to find our way out of Middle Earth and into just good ol' Earth.


The loud music could be heard all the way form the car. Darcy looked at her twin sister, Alexia.

"Do I really have to go in there?" Darcy asked.

"Yes, I want to get drunk tonight and you're my designated driver. Besides, you need to be more social."

"I can still be your designated driver and sit in the car."

"Darce…" Alexia called her by her nickname. "Sitting in a car reading fanfictions and listening to The Hobbit soundtrack on repeat, is NOT being social."

Darcy met the eyes of her twin, so identical to her own. A bright teal blue fringed by long lashes. Their eyes were not the only traits they shared they both had long platinum blonde waves of hair. Though Alexia liked to occasionally straighten it, which suited her short bangs better, Darcy like to keep hers in its natural wave and tied back.

Promptly ending the conversation, Alexia got out of the car, quite gracefully she might add. It always stumped Darcy that Alexia could ever do anything gracefully considering she always wore shoes with no less than 5 inches of heel.

Although they were twins, they were very opposite in personality. Where Alexia was all about glam and parties, Darcy preferred sitting in her room reading books or fanfictions. Alexia was spunky while Darcy was quiet and reserved. The only traits they shared were their sarcasm and quick-witted humor.

Darcy heavily sighed and followed her sister out of the car, though not as graceful. Alexia waited for her before they both followed the path up to the noisy and crowded house.

Before entering, Alexia turned to her sister with a mischievous glint in her eyes. Darcy looked back at her cautiously, knowing that look meant Alexia intended to get her involved in something she otherwise wouldn't.

"Remember, no drinking tonight, you're driving." Alexia told her. Darcy rolled her eyes at her twin, having no intention of drinking, even if she wasn't driving. "But that doesn't mean you can't have fun. I know for a fact that there will be plenty of guys here willing to hook up with you."

That answered the glint in her eyes. Alexia was always trying to "hook her up," telling her to give this guy or that guy a chance.

"Alexia, for the hundredth time, I don't want, or need, a relationship, I'm perfectly content where I am. Besides, none of them are my type or fit my standards."

"Darcy, no one fits your type or standards. Want to know why? Because the people you're looking for, are characters in a book. They aren't realistic. Maybe if you dropped your standards you'd be happier." Alexia then turned away and walked into the house.

Darcy stood there for a second, glaring at the retreating form of her sister. She did not want to be here, she thought as she walked into the house. She was immediately bombarded with the stench of sweat, smoke, and alcohol. Oh yeah, she definitely did not want to be here. Fighting the urge to just leave and go sit in the car, Darcy made her way to the kitchen. The music was loud as were the people around her, trying to be heard over the music. On her way to the kitchen, Darcy passed what was most likely deemed the dance floor, since that is where all the swaying bodies were. Darcy spotted Alexia, with a cup in hand, dancing with a guy she didn't recognize.

Darcy watched her sister dance, noting the way she moved with grace to the beat of the bass, her slender yet curvy form one with the music. Another thing they had in common was their body type, slender yet curvy in all the right places. Where Alexia got her form from years of dancing, Darcy's physique came from boxing. Darcy loved to box. She first started at the age of 15 after her father died of a heart attack 6 years ago. That was the reason she became quiet and reclusive and the reason Alexia had started acting out. The death of their father had changed them.

Shaking her head to clear it of the resurfacing memories, Darcy continued forward, only to be stopped by a very familiar chest.

Darcy looked up to meet the eyes of tanner, the obnoxious, pain-in-the-ass stoner, who pursued the twins relentlessly. Darcy met his hazel eyes and quirked an eyebrow, silently asking "what do you want?"

Tanner smirked and leaned down before answering in a whisper near her ear. "Damn Darcy, even in that prudish outfit, you still manage to turn me on." His breath smelled strongly of alcohol. It made Darcy want to throw her dinner up.

"You smell disgusting." Darcy stated bluntly

Tanner chuckled then looked around. "Where's your sister? I assume you didn't come alone, this isn't quite your scene, your sister on the other hand…"

Darcy just glared at him. She did not like at all, not one bit. He was egotistical and flirted with girls like it was his day job.

She was about to tell him to go fuck off when Alexia appeared by her side, and she did not look happy.

"What the hell do you think you're doing? I thought I told you last time to leave me and my sister alone."

Tanner just looked her up and down, leeringly.

Alexia scoffed, and grabbing Darcy's arm, lead her away. Alexia stopped in an alcove by the stairs and turned to her sister, a look of concern on her face.

"He didn't touch you did he? I swear, Darce, if he did I'll rip his arms off and stuff them down his throat." Alexia stated.

Darcy met her sisters' eyes and smiled at her. "No, he didn't touch me. He just smelled really bad." Both sisters giggled together. "So how much longer do we have to stay here for?" Darcy asked her.

Alexia leveled a gaze at her. "Really Darcy? We just got here. At least try and enjoy yourself." With that Alexia walked off.

Realizing that they weren't going to be going anywhere for a longtime, Darcy sat down on a chair in the alcove, and pulling out her phone, started reading her fanfiction from where she left off.

Thorin and Company had just entered Mirkwood forest when Darcy looked up and around. The party was still going full force, and it seemed more people had shown up. Darcy looked back down at her phone to check the time. 1:45 a.m. She and Alexia had been there for 3 hours.

Deciding that they had been there long enough, Darcy got up and started looking for her sister. Walking back to the dance floor, Darcy saw no sign of Alexia.

Sighing in frustration, Darcy turned around and started searching the rest of the house. 10 long minutes later, and still with no sign of Alexia, Darcy was tempted to go back to the car and call Alexia and just wait for her there. Phone in hand Darcy made her way back through the house when she heard retching coming from behind the closed bathroom door.

Darcy slowly opened the door, ready to close and leave if it wasn't someone she knew. Looking in, Darcy saw a familiar head of platinum blonde hair. Darcy rushes over and holds her sisters hair back.

Alexia looks up and sees her and smiles apologetically at her and mumbles thanks. After a few more retches, Alexia sits back and rests her head against a wall.

Darcy kneels in front of her. "You ok?" She asks

Alexia nods her head. Even intoxicated and high, Alexia still looked drop dead gorgeous.

"Could you get me some ibuprofen?" Alexia asked her.

"Of course, where is it?" Darcy asked

"In my purse…" Darcy looked around for, but didn't see Alexia's purse anywhere.

"And where would that be exactly…?"

"In the car."

Darcy gave her sister a look of disbelief. The one time she didn't have her purse on her.

Darcy stood up and bent down to help her sister up when Alexia rushed forward and violently threw up in the toilet.

Darcy sighed in exasperation and turned to leave the bathroom. This was the last she ever went out partying with Alexia. No matter how much she begged, Darcy was determined to put her foot down.

Reaching the car, Darcy looked in her sisters purse, but seeing as how her sister literally used her purse for universal needs; she seriously carried everything in it, she decided just bring the whole thing. She grabbed her own purse, and headed back to the house.

She reached the bathroom her sister had been in, and saw Alexia slumped on the floor. She handed her her purse and looked through her own for the water bottle she carried. Darcy handed Alexia the water and she downed it with the ibuprofen.

Alexia then stood up and started washing her face in the sink. She then turned to Darcy and said "I know you're not supposed to take ibuprofen when you're cross-faded, but my head is pounding."

"Yeah, no shit Sherlock." Darcy told her. Alexia just smirked at her.

Alexia then turned the water off and she and Darcy headed towards the door when the lights went off. Both girls stopped and looked in confusion.

"What the hell?" Darcy heard Alexia mutter.

Darcy turned around in a circle trying to find the light switch, when a blue light appeared.

Darcy stopped, shocked, to see the toilet water glowing blue.

"What the fuck did you drink!?" Darcy turned to her sister to see the same shocked expression in her face.

Turning back to look at the toilet, both girls started walking towards it. Peering inside, both girls stood flabbergasted.

"What the…" Alexia started to say, when the blue water jumped out at them. Both of them reeled back, shocked. The last thing Darcy saw was a beautiful woman's face emanating a white light, before everything went black.

When Darcy regained consciousness, the first thing she noticed was how cold and uncomfortable she was. That was odd; her room was usually warm and cozy. But Darcy didn't remember going to bed, she didn't even remember going home, the last thing she remembered was…

Darcy bolted up into a sitting position. She was not in the bathroom, or any room, or even a house for that matter; she was in the woods. Everywhere, trees, trees, and more trees. Looking around, Darcy noticed she was in some sort of clearing. Above she saw stars, but none of the constellations looked familiar.

Then Darcy heard movement and a groan. Turning she saw Alexia laying 5 feet away. Darcy rushed over just as Alexia gained consciousness. Darcy helped her sit up, when Alexia froze.

"Where…where are we?"

"I don't know Lex, but we sure as hell aren't in Kansas anymore."

Both girls stood when they heard a noise coming from the trees. They turned just in time to see two figures emerge from the foliage. Two fairly short figures, Darcy noticed. The figures froze at the sight of the two girls.

All four of them froze, staring at each other, no one moved. Then as shorter of the two figures stepped forwards, Darcy noticed what looked like a sword strapped to its waist.

"Excuse me-"it started to say; but Darcy never let it finish, because she lunged and hit the figure in the face.


End file.
